Little Mirrors
- lisa miller
- Feb 27
- 2 min read
Our children and our teams model our behaviors. Want to get a good look at your own behaviors, emotions, or actions? Just watch your kids or your team and how they behave.
Our kids are indeed little mirrors. Last night we got home late and it was a school night. My husband, E, was anxious about getting the kids to bed. Immediately, L picked up on his anxiety, so sure enough, she started to worry. Things escalated and ended with the two of them yelling at one another. I wish E could have seen how L was simply mirroring his own emotions. We talked about it after the kids were asleep and he recognized what happened.
At work, my team can certainly pick up on my emotions. But even more importantly, they mirror what I do. A nurse leader I work with is an expert at this. While going to the Gemba with front line nurses, she will show them the behavior she is looking for by modeling it. She doesn't just bark orders from an office, she is on the floor demonstrating the behavior she expects. And she is good at it. If I ever need to be hospitalized, I want her as my nurse! This has resulted in the experience scores for this hospital to go through the roof. It's impressive!
PRACTICE
Parents: Not getting the reactions you want from your kids? Are they acting out or having more tantrums that normal? If you are not getting the reactions you want, check your own actions. Our kids mirror the emotions and behaviors they see. It's so easy to point the finger at them but so much is on us. Take a deep breath. Stay calm. You got this.
Leaders: Not getting the behaviors you expect from your team? How are you demonstrating what good looks like? It can be awkward to role play or demonstrate for yourself how you want them to do something, but modeling the behavior is the best way for teams to learn.
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